Haha, wow.

Okay.  So.  This has been the best week of my goddamn life.

Me and Nea went on that vacation.  It was fucking great.

We went down to Nar Shaddaa.  Not the place I usually see, but the place where she grew up after the whole crash dealie and I got to meet some of the people she worked with, who knew her from her street-fighting days.

Goddamn there are some good people there.  I’m happy they found her.  They took good care of her.

Anyway then Nea took me to a very- private place for her, she said she hadn’t really gone back in a long time and it meant a lot- it meant more than a lot that she brought me there and why am I using dashes and shit like I’m talking I am writing this is dumb I should just erase that crap.  Oh I’m using a pen fuck.

Anywya Anyway so we had our moment.  I don’t really wanna record it all here cause it was private but we had our moment, and then we went and Nea got us a room at those big-as-fuck floating casinos.  The real high-class ones.  Someone on the inside owed her a favor and it was great.

We did a lot of stuff in that room, but not a lot of gambling.  I’m not sure that’s good for business.

So we spent a few days just with each other, we went and saw the sites but mostly we just talked and held one another and joked and laughed and smiled and kissed and ate and drank and had a lot of fun.

I gave her my dogtags.  I’ll get new ones.

We spent a lot of time sad too, cause we both know the shitstorm we’re both about to step into once I go.  We can face anything together, we both know that, but apart?  Well that’s gonna be the real test of our commitment to one another.  And I know commitment.  I can handle it, I think she can handle it too, but we won’t know until it happens, and that’s the scary part.

On to better memories though, Zentoyo decided to be way too fucking nice to me and organized a going-away party for my redeployment.  That was way too kind of her.  Like legit, I almost teared up when I got the e-mail.  She’s such a good friend, and always has been one.  I didn’t even mention her in this thing.  That makes me feel bad for some reason.

But anyway she threw me a party, and a lotta guys I knew and plenty I didn’t or only sorta knew were there and everyone had a real good time and it was all super buenotasticbonne.  And of course Z being Z went the extra mile and somehow got into contact with Nea and convinced her to dance for me.  That alone would’ve made my jaw drop, but then she got Nea a slave outfit.

Holy FUCK I have the most beautiful girl in the world galaxy.

And hoenstyl honestly the fact she’d even wear that for me - hell the fact she’d just dance in public for me - hell the fact she did either of those things alone would floor me, but she did BOTH.  My god.

We are way too in love here, it is not good for our health.

But the rest of the party was good.  Even some 7th made it to Nar Shaddaa to see me off.  That was real nice of ‘em.

I love those guys, really I do.  I’m proud of them.  I think they can handle it on their own.  They’ll still be here when I get back.

That leaves me a lot more comfortable than I’ve ever been.

God I normally don’t misspell anything but I misspelled three things already wow.

Anyway I’m really tired because Nea and I have been waking up and going back to sleep and waking up and going back to sleep and absolutely nothing else in between for the past several hours on the much-longer-than-necessary-because-fuck-you trip back to Voss.

I’m gonna say my goodbyes to Vy, then leave Nea with my tags, some holos, and anything else she wants.

And when I get back I’m gonna live up to every single promise I made her.

I love this woman so much.

Quelle Heure Est?

So my writing’s been kind of shitty lately and I can’t really bring myself to care.  I’m so tired lately - especially after today.

So I spoke with Vy again.  She and I had spoken earlier about various shit that was going on and she’s all concerned about the shit with Nea.  She thinks I’m all freaked out due to the Dear John and I’m just grabbing for any sort of straw there is but.  It’s not like that.  I told her I’d be okay if she went back to her boyfriend, I kind of expect it.  I shared something with her though that was extremely special to me and I’m happy to have simply had that moment.  Whatever happens, I’ll be there for her, at the least.

Goddamn I sound like a hippy.

Anyway, so she told me I was in love with her and- I dunno about that, that’s a bit fucking much for having only known someone for a few days but- Jeez man, it was some pretty heavy shit.

So anyway a few days after that she and Jerax both decided to talk about me and just fucking tried to talk me out of it.  Apparently they both think I’m a moron and are completely overreacting to the unloaded-weapon-under-my-chin thing.  They thought that was some serious shit or something and I call BS and just god.

I’m so fucking tired.

Then I get a call from Nea, a short one, just thanking me for everything before she hung up.  I hope she’ll be okay.

THEN I get a comm from Vy.  Apparently there was an explosion in a hangar on the Imp Fleet.  I dunno how she get access to this intel, but it was a live feed or something, and she was listening in.  Two Males, One Female, one DOA, One Heavily wounded, and one got off with a broken finger and not much else.  I’m hoping Nea is the final one and she’ll be okay.

Worst breakup ever, though, if that’s how it came about.

God I need sleep.



God these past few days have been worse than the fucking fuckidy fuck.  The shit’s starting to come on again and I’m freaking the tits out.


So anyway PV2 Ozakif is apparently a fucking force sensitive.  MUCHO BUENO, TOTALMENTE.  And he decided to fuck with Nea again, almost got into a fight with her.  Had to fucking pull the two apart, seperate em, cuff both of em, and I almost kicked Oz out of my goddamn military.


He promised to get help though, from the Marran.


Anyway so I was talking with Vy the other day.  The visions are getting bad again.  I told her about them and stuff, and I told her I loved her like a sister for the first time.  That felt nice to get off my chest, and the hug was too.  But ju ALL AROUND.  SO DARK.  THEIR BODIES SO NUMEROUS THEY’VE BLOCKED THE SUN.  YOU ARE ALL THAT REMAINS, YOU ARE ALONE, YOU ARE AFRAID.  THEY COME FOR YOU.  TAKING THEIR TIME, TAUNTING AS THEY SAVOR THE FEELING OF AN ASSURED KILL.  THERE’S NOTHING TO BE DONE, NO ESCAPE FROM THE FINAL JUDGEMENT AND THE PAIN.  CLOSER.  CLOSER.  CLOSER.  CLOSER.  CLOSER, CLOSER, CLOSER CLOSERCLOSERCLOSERCLOSERClosercloserclosercloserlcloserclsrlsclscslrlc~~_\/\/-/9\/-][]]';’./’;


But it was okay.  She told me she’d always be there, and I held her, and I knew that I’d have my sister and it was all going to be okay and maybe I needed to get some more help.  It was claustrophobic though.  I can smell it now, whether there’s a vision or not.  It’s coming.  I’m going to die.

But anyway, after Oz picked his fight and revealed his force-sensitivity I told him to get into contact with Master Ihlrath.  He was unable to, and when he came into the bar the next day we spoke and shit.  But there was a Sith there.  And Ozakif was listening to the fucking Sith.  He wanted to learn Sith things and was abusing his gift of the force for personal fucking gain and just…  GOD!

It deteriorated relatively quickly.  The Sith was using the most simple and flawed goddamn arguments and Ozakif was listening to her stupid ass.  Goddamn.  He wasn’t even arguing, he bought totally into the free power idea and just…  I had to send him away, and unloaded my shotgun, and pumped nonexistant rounds into my chin.  That stupidity brought every single piece of stress I’d felt over the past few days to a head, and it was either kill someone else, myself, or do something equally stupid.  So I unloaded the weapon and just fucking fuck dick schutta fuck me myock man low speed cuntwaffledolphincockasspenispen0rlololderpderpderpwritingwhatthefuckisthatcaptain ahabdurkadurkaairbornedurkadurkahooahkillmenowpleasegod.

and the whore sent me a dear john.

Kill me now.

Je ne sais pas

Well the visions have been letting up lately.  So that’s good I guess.


Where to start?




[\_|_/] <—- Proper Sight Picture.

Okay so, it’s been pretty busy since I got back.  We’ve been doing a lot of patrols.  I think I spoke to Zentoyo once.  Got laid a few times, blah blah blah standard shit.

Oh!  Our buddies in the Marran, which is a more proactive group of Jedi have decided that we deserve some honors due to the aid we lent them on an op a while back.  They’re good people, particularly Masters Ihlrath and Nyomi, and are, in my opinion, quite devoted to the goals of the Republic.  So anyway they want to award us this thingy-bob, and we go down to the ceremony and it’s pretty High Speed and shit.  Master Ihlrath gives a speech, awarding us the Silver Mantle which purportedly hasn’t had a home within the Infantry for some time, and he stated how glad he was for it to find one again.  The entire unit received a custom citation from them, and it’s actually authorized for wear with our uniforms, so it won’t just be ceremonial.  Those of us actually performing the action also received a Blood Stripe.  That was pretty cool.

Master Alyrae is apparently doing better now too, and also trying to get it on with Master Ihlrath.  I’m a bit disappointed but…  Eh, she’s a Jedi, what’d I expect?  Ha.  Anyway I’m just glad she’s doing alright ever since that incident with the Sith and poison.  That was fucked the hell up and scared the shit out of me and…  Is also partly why I have this pile of shit now.  Huh.

7th’s been doing quite well as of late.  We’re expanding and growing further, picked up some good recruits who show good leadership potential, yadda yadda yadda.  HOWEVER, we do have our share of silliness.

PFC Ozakif was on a mounted patrol the other day in Voss’ka, and for some reason decided it was his god-given duty to stop random citizens.  Picked an Imperial Contractor by the name of Ty’nea.  Now, Ty’nea and I knew each other, we’d spoken some in the bar and I met her boyfriend and some gay Rattataki who was hilarious but creepy all at once, so suffice to say I was a liiiittle more miffed than I should have been when it turns out Oz not only stopped a random civilian in Voss’ka where we technically do not have any operational authority, but that that person was also a friend of mine.

So anyway I smoked the shit out of him for almost causing a massive diplomatic incident.  Nea insisted she coulda kicked his ass if she wanted to but I think that’s just bravado.  She’s tough, but I don’t think she could handle 3 soldiers without going for weapons, which woulda been baaaaaad.

Vy and Jerax finally told each other they love each other.  I can’t remember whether that happened before or after the “incident” now but I do remember how glad I was to hear they finally admitted it to one another.  God I love those two like siblings.

Anyway that’s all I got here.  I’m getting some good sleep and I met a nice ‘lek by the name of Tamiya.  All’s well so far.  It won’t stay that way, will enjoy it while it lasts.

[\_|_/] (\_|_/)       |/—/##P==     Bang bang.