If nothing else, Ihlrath, you deserve remembrance.
I think I’m the only one whose not surprised you up and died, though - or at least, not surprised you up and died so soon. But you were always the self-sacrificing type, the warrior, the protector, the leader, the therapist - all those things.
And we all know how their stories end up, right buddy? They get killed.
And you know what, in your case it is pretty fucking tragic, I’ll admit. But it’s not due to any of the circumstances really, or any sort of particular qualities that you had. It’s tragic because you, like many Jedi, died before you could ever be Human.
If I were asked to give a Eulogy, being that we were friends for a time (and I still considered you one until your death, though we might’ve been estranged), then I would say that you were a great Jedi, a great Warrior, and a caring individual.
But you were not a great man.
For as long as I knew you, Ihlrath, you had always tried to play both sides of the fence. You were a Jedi, and a damned good one at that, and I think you loved your job and everything about it. You took comfort in your identified role, and of your efficiency in executing it. Even when things went bad, even when you were cutting a swath through dozens of soldiers who were no more evil than me or mine, just doing their jobs too, you loved it.
But while you loved your chosen roles, you tried to sneak away from them, hide under technicality and half-truths as you courted Alasha, Niatara, Vyen’a, and a host of others as you attempted to work through emotions that you probably had never dealt with before. As a man, you were a child, being exposed to a much larger and more complex galaxy than the order had ever prepared you for. And at once you were curious and afraid, I think. You could never embrace your humanity - not fully - and people like Alasha paid the price for it. Her heart had to subsist on hopes, half-truths, and technicalities, because you couldn’t fully embrace the largest part of you - your humanity.
That isn’t to say you weren’t a good person, or a good Jedi, or a decent individual altogether, but Ihlrath, your sole failing in life is that you were not a good man, and your death is tragic because you no longer have the chance to ever become one. You would’ve loved it. You would’ve cast aside everything for it in a heartbeat, had you been less afraid to give it a chance.
But you clung to your role as a Jedi even when your actions directly conflicted with that. You rejected the full embracing of your humanity and true “control” over your emotions out of the typical Jedi arrogance and fear. You thought you were above humanity and ultimately above the Jedi, too. You fought for your convictions as hard as any individual could - if not harder, and you were a caring individual unto your friends and allies. And that is why your death is not a surprise.
So goodbye, Master Ihlrath. You were a warrior, and died a warrior’s death. You were a tragic individual, and died a tragic death. Your gravestone will contain your name, your dates of birth and death, and the conflict in which you died. That is all a soldier can expect, and all a soldier will get. I hope it’s enough for you.